Spoiler Alert

The Wallace Hall saga continues to play out like a poorly scripted movie with has-been actors. I’ll describe the latest scenes and provide my readers with the ending.

Scene 1: Wallace Hall and new BFF Tim Dunn recently created an “awards program” to give Hall a stage upon which to start their plot. Hall dutifully reads (literally) a lawyer drafted rant proclaiming himself innocent of the charges the grand jury is investigating him for, strongly asserting his innocence while creating fictitious conversations involving him, Governor Perry and Speaker Joe Straus, and blaming all his problems on the Straus. (Hint to Wallace: Judges and juries look to criminal defendants to take responsibility for their actions and at least act contrite. Keep practicing.) Dunn then creates a video of the rant and pays for distributing said rant, which audiences pan.

Scene 2: Enter Kathy Walt, the soon to be unemployed press person and acting Chief of Staff to indicted Governor Perry, another BFF of Wallace Hall and Tim Dunn (see scene one). Kathy comes rolling in, corrects the Hall version of the fictitious conversations referenced in the video and shifts blame for all Hall’s ills to Straus’ Chief of Staff, Jesse Ancira. In doing so, Kathy creates yet another fictitious conversation with a fictitious date and fictitious content. (Whew. Stay with me folks.) When asked to confirm the fictitious conversation, Hall can’t make it fit with his fictitious version. Audience begins to snore.

Scene 3: Enter indicted Governor Rick Perry, to assert that he has no knowledge of either of the fictitious versions of the fictitious conversations, but his interim Chief of Staff must be right and Straus’ Chief of Staff is lying about the fictitious events. He spends the remainder of his comments proclaiming his innocence of charges for which he has been indicted. Audience leaves.

Upcoming Scene: (Spoiler Alert) Dunn / Hall / Perry will find someone to file a “complaint” against Speaker Straus or Chief of Staff Ancira based on the fictitious events spouted out by Hall / Kathy / Perry and promoted by Dunn. They will time this filing to try to influence the non-contest House Speaker race, hoping that if they say it enough times, someone will listen. They will fail miserably. Audiences will ask for a refund.

This production by Dunn / Hall / Perry failed for several reasons. I’ll break it down:

1) The “good guys” weren’t believable. Hall is under grand jury investigation. Dunn’s operations are subject to multiple ethics violation convictions. Perry is under indictment. Kathy is about to be an unemployed press hack, having failed at her imitation of Chief of Staff.

2) The events weren’t believable. Hall and Kathy can’t get their story straight. The details of the fictitious conservations, the participants in the fictitious conversations, the dates of the fictitious conversations – nothing matched up. When you’re going to fabricate a storyline, some particulars, even one, has to match.

3) The “bad guys” weren’t believable. A villain has to be or do something villainous to the “good guys”. Ironically, in this case the “good guys” are under some form of criminal or civil investigation, or both, and the “bad guys” are not. You don’t hear people saying that Straus is a crook or that he abuses his position. I’ve asked around about Chief of Staff Ancira, and the overwhelming response I get is that the guy is a man of his word – that he has worked around the capitol for decades in different capacities (apparently he’s also a former FBI agent) and is known for his integrity and honesty. Contrast this with the reputation of their accusers.

This poorly planned play by the lawyers for Hall and Perry lead one to believe that matters in the criminal investigations against them aren’t going well. This attempt to smear others to make themselves look not so bad is pretty pitiful.

I can’t give you a spoiler for the various criminal and civil actions that Dunn / Hall / Perry are fighting. I can just give you the spoiler for the little play they launched last week. All of them need to go ahead and exit the stage — the audience has moved on. As for Kathy, let’s see if the chance she took fabricating story lines for her boss works out for her. Somewhere, somebody that’s loyal to Hall or Perry is bound to need a press person, but they’ll need to insist she brush up on her creative writing skills.